Pursuit of Balance

This idea of balance has been one that I have struggled with for longer than I care to remember.  I am one of those guys who is a Jack of all trades and has yet to master any of them (maybe all is a stretch, but the point stands) . I had thought until very recently that I would need to buckle down and decided on something to “master” so that I could either be happy, or make money, or….whatever.

But I came to a bit of an epiphany, for lack of a better word, today while doing some chores around the house. Perhaps my subconscious has been trying to tell me something all these years. Maybe I need to “master” balance in my life instead of focusing so much on trying to make my life lopsided with the “mastery” of some business endeavor or hobby of some sort.

I think that balance in life probably means many different things to different people, in fact, I’m sure of it. Me, for example, I’ve got a career that I am trying to change, a wife, two boys with special needs, and too many hobbies to really count. Definitely not what most people have on their plate from what I have seen (could be wrong though). My whole life is a balancing act that I have tried and failed miserably to get under control, or at least it feels like I have been unsuccessful at least.

My biggest problem is that I have a lot of hats that I have to wear, nearly every day. Trying to prioritize them all is a pain in the ass honestly. Do I focus on being a good dad or husband, Coastie or developer, movies or books, indoors or out, cool gadgets or unplugged, beer or whiskey, weights or calisthenics, running trails or roads, the list goes on more than I care to. And the simple (and I say that very lightly) answer to that is there is no one answer. Kind of a cop out, I know, but I can’t exactly come up with anything better right now. Who knows though, maybe throughout the course of this blog we can figure that out together.

It strikes me as a little odd that I gave this blog a sub-title of “Taming the Balance” and this is the first post I’ve had on the topic. This idea that persists most in my head is also the thing that is most difficult for me personally (shocking, I know). So why not give myself a platform to improve this for myself and anyone else that struggles like I do.

I will tell you from my own personal experience, balance, more than anything I think, gives me more anxiety than anything else. I want to run, but I also want to read, I want to buy that new gadget but my wife wants this new vinyl record, I want to study JavaScript but my boys want to watch a movie with me. None of these things I can do at the same time. I gave up trying to “multitask” many moons ago, it doesn’t work, one of the few things that I retained from my time earning my B.S. in Psychology (that and I don’t want to be a Psychologist after all).

My plan is for a number of the future posts to be addressing how am I working to improve balance as a skill and habit in my life as I work to become a better developer, father, husband, runner…I’ll stop there. Please feel free to let me know what you think about my idea, plans, achievements, whatever, and share any of your own experiences. The good, the bad, the ugly, the awesome, I’d love to hear it all, I’m not easily offended, and I’ll do my best not to get cocky, no promises though. Let’s just have fun with it.

I do tend to ramble a bit though, so I’ll leave it at that.

~Until next time, Squatch out~


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